alumni of university of malaya

Dark Side of Me

Things that have squeezed my brain and went helpless until almost kill a happy and peaceful family with 1-year old cute baby boy

These people almost spoiled my family

Let's go to the story......

Hi, hello dear readers, this is Visnu here, a middle-class born man who have a lot of dreams and goals in life. A don't give up attitude and a common man who have a lot big dreams and goals with just a normal rat-race lifestyle.

I was married to a women who has no father. Her father passed away during her 16's. Since then the so call guardian (in the picture above) was guided throughout her life. When she was 28 years old, she met and decided to marry a guy (which is me) and she tried maximum to make things work between us. At the end we married and happily lived a peaceful life until the big change happened. During our life period, we had a lot of fights and arguments, at times we even involve in hitting each other.( means both has involved in hitting).

On May 2023 , around 9 pm

Part 1- Third person Involvement

On a fine evening, there started a normal argument between me and my wife where we having 9-month old baby. My wife started with calling her guardian. I got triggered when the things goes until calling her guardian which i hate the most in my lifetime. Anything we can still discuss within four walls, because its a family issue.

Then, i requested the guardian to ask my wife to go back to her mother's house and stay at least for 1 or 2 days so that things can be calm. But instead of saying yes to my request, the guardian( a bald guy in the picture) has informed me, no she wont go anyway, she will stay there (in my house) only. I tried to talk to him until he burst out using vulgar words to me. When i go back to my house and was telling my wife about how her guardian was behaved over phone. My wife replied "PADAN MUKA, you deserve this" . There you go, imagine how you will feel when someone in a real anger and already involved in an argument with his wife suddenly hearing vulgar words from the guardian and the wife telling those kind of words. I Slapped my wife few times while she carrying baby. Yes, i can hear your mind voice ( WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE DONE AND HOW YOU CAN BEAT A WOMAN!!!! AND A MOTHER CARRYING THE BABY???) yes for this i really feel shame on me and i regret it. During this incident, the guardian was on-call over the phone with my wife.

Part 2- Uncontrollable reactions and Burnout!

After the incident, the guardian brought police to my house and request my wife to move from my house and go and wait near the guardhouse. My wife followed her guardian and did exactly, she carry my baby and waited in front of the residents guard house.

I reacted wild that time because my wife started to video record whatever i'm doing. I was like," what is happening around me right now, i'm blurr, i'm fucking blurr. My own wife doing this and supporting by the guardian. After that i also threw vulgar words to the guardian which is almost 20 years elder than me. I always respect elders, especially those at my fathers age since my father passed away. Lets continue, the police came with the guardian, his son, and his relative guy, that relative guy acted worst and threw vulgar words towards me and wanted to hit me and straight entered my house, then the police stopped. Again, I'm like what's happening around me right now??? Still blurr. The guardian who backed by police asking me to follow to balai. and i refused and cried. Yes i cried like hell and i scared. Then i see my wife's face, she cried and don't know what to say and stay put.

Then the guardian sit and talk with me and again he ask me to follow balai since i dont want to listen to him. then i swtiched off my house light, take my Identity card and while crying heavily headed towards the door, and then somehow managed to discuss and the guardian, policeman and others all went back.

Part 3- Post Mortem

After that incident on that night, too silent, my wife looking at me. My baby was taken with them, since the guardian said let's the baby be with them and let's give me and my wife some space. Imagine how you feel when you feed your family all this while and even during your financial issues, you handled with supporting baby and wife, and suddenly the third person, (gurdian came and he solved the issue and took my baby with them. On that night i took my late father's framed photo and hugged him and cried heavily as that's the only thing as a man and as a family man i could for now. i only can cry.

The next morning, i told my wife sorry i can't live with you anymore, and we shall apply for a divorce. There you go, another incident happened. I told my wife, i want peace and rest, so i'm going to my mother's house. Because, now i did'nt involve my family yet. I feel like want to see my mother and my siblings and want to tell what has happened. I went out just living my wife. Then when i come back to my house, my wife disappeared. She went back to her guardian house. Now the situation is, i'm alone in my house where my baby and wife was held by her guardian.

Part 4- Settlement

Her guardian called me for a table talk, where one of my cousin was there. They already informed my cousin about this it seems. Then the guardian came with so called police report, and he blackmailed me that if he don't agree with him, he will submit the letter to Inspector (IO). The condition is, i must go and see psychiatrist and need to submit picture of proove to them in order him to release my wife and my baby. Then i agreed as the only way i have.

Part 5 - 10 days without baby and wife

The period that i was struggled with my mind and my soul almost drained. I has no one to talk with from my side to them, because, all they said is, my wife side might will lodge a police case and they surely can win because they have videos, and you have slapped your wife. Easy to get divorce, and not only that, you can be punnished and you must pay compensation to your wife until you die. Because wife side, there are good at court cases as the guardian son is a lawyer and have law firm.

Okay. Then i brought my mother to my wife's guardian house where my wife and my baby staying, just to talk to my wife and baby to bring back home, the house is gated and guarded. The guard called the house, the guardian's son which is almost 7 years younger than me answered the call and said "jangan bagi masuk" then my mother cried on how they treated us. We both returned back to my mothers house. These scenes are still fresh in my mind.

I keep calling the guardian and cried and promised him that i will take care of my wife nicely after this, but the guardian still wanted me to provide proof of psychiatrist visit of me. I consulted a lot of people on this matter, my colleagues, my company directors, but all those advices is only one, don't do and " you are alright no issues for you and keep positive mindset, try to reach your wife and communicate, but don't go to psychiatrist all, you are perfectly alright.

But, i cannot without seeing my baby, its already more than 5 days. Then, no choice, i went psychiatrist and took picture and sent to the guardian. At last, my wife called me and talk to me and she said she need more time and she want me to change the resident location as she feel traumatized. Then i promised her no matter what i can cure the trauma and i will ensure my wife not to feel the same when she entering the house. But after June 2024, we vacate to new area. Now, the so called guardian and the team is no more interacting with my wife. They already missed out my wife on their events and my wife became third person to the guardian's family. My wife like "WTF" . That's Life. It will take somewhile to learn about the Life. For some people, it will be too late to realize, and for some there will be still some chances to go back to where they left. Please Please and Please wake up. My very very humble request. When we see outside, people are partying nicely, flirting, enjoying things here and there, buying big car, big houses, guys, in tamil there is a say " Ellam Konje Kaalam" Just enjoy watching those things. Let God handle everyone, all you need is just do your part and your duty. One day you will hear news which makes you to feel worth it.

Guy's don't let third person to involve in your own family life. Once you get married, please focus to settle down within four walls. As, may be your wife or your husband can forgive and forget but not your circles and definitely not your relatives. You cannot live harmony again with the same circles. The life is in your hand and it's your choice of living. But if you committed with a relationship, work on that, don't mess it.

Last Part 6- The changes

My wife and myself agreed that whatever we did was a real stupid things, should eliminate those people and keep limitations. As now you can see all of them living their own life, but who facing the consequences, and trauma is us. Sometimes we couldn't sleep on thinking how much mess they did to my family. It's not easy to all those guys outside there to build up a family (Empire) it's our own empire, fuck those who trying to enter in people's arguments. Let's take our parents footsteps and follow that. That's enough and that's perfect. Try to avoid hard fights and try to discuss professionally. When you are in hard times, your eyes will project that whoever living in this world is amazing and they living exemplary life and you will feel like to follow them, but please pause there. The best exemplary life that you can follow is your Mother and Father's footstep. Trust me guys, you will only understand this during their absence. Anger will kill you. I'm still facing trauma until to-date. Don't be too soft to elder's other than your parents and siblings. Basically you can ignore them. Don't fall into the trap. Move-on, don't give up and always persistency is key of success. Whatever you are doing right-now, if you think your father and mother's blessings will be with you, then do it confidently. They always will bless you even during their absence.

~Visnu